i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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