He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
