Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
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