It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
