Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
