All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
