It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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