Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
