At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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