Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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