I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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