Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
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He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Can you bring me the toilet please
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He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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