So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
is wine microwaveable?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
