he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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