Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
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