My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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