i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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