Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
