They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
