I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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