i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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