yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
