never play flip cup with pint glasses
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
