Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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