how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
