every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
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I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
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Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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