So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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