I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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