we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
