Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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