I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
