no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
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