I love black thongs
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
well you can't waste a boner
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
