Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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