Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
