tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
