Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
