He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
