Soap is not a condiment
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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