Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!