i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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