he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
