Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
