I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
