I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
