The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
