; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
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either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
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my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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