Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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