another moral hangover. fuck.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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