The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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