What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
