something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
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