i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
