I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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