Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
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