He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
