its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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