you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
