Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
