Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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