Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
porn star boner night. come get it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
