omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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