just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
