no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
