You're completely useless in the revolution.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
