just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
