i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
