So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
