He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
