How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
