Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
