why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
